Breathing The SSDD Mantra

chronicling the raves and rants of a narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard in orgiastic moans recluse as he drifts to the SSDD mantra... life can be boring, especially if you're bland to begin with. the world is round and it can make you a fool if you let it. stab the snooze. make a mark. crawl out of your TV celluloid and live a wicked life. because life's a bitch and you have to be a bitchier fuck-me-Freddy to live. viva la vida!

One Crispy "Putanginamo" To Go, Please!

March 10, 2009

Mahirap magpakaputa. Maski na ayaw mo eh kelangan mong ihanda ang mura mong katawan sa mga parokyanong Kanong hayok sa laman. Maski na hindi mo na kaya eh sasairin nila ang natitira mong lakas. Mumurahin ka nang makailang ulet para lang masunod ang gusto nila. Ipagduduldulan sa’yong isa kang puta at sila ang kustomer. Sila ang masusunod at kung gusto nilang sairin ang katas mo magdamag eh pilit nilang ipapagawa sa’yo yun, sa ayaw mo man o sa gusto. Maski na nakaratay ka na sa kama dahil sa sakit eh kelangan mo pa ring kaladkarin ang pototoy at betlogs mo para pumasok sa putanginang kasa. Walang palusot. Walang sinasayang na oras. Walang kawala.

O, akala mo naman talagang nagbebenta na ko ng sarili kong laman? Ahehehe. Hindi pa ko ganun ka-desperado para ibalandra ko ang naghuhumindig kong pototoy sa makamundong teleserye ng totoong buhay. Siguro kapagka alang ala na talaga ko. ‘Yung tipong isang tuyo na lang ang nakahain sa hapag-kainan tapos hindi pa pwedeng ulamin dahil isang buong linggo pang ulam ‘yun. ‘Yung tipong makukuntento ka na lang na langhapin ang mapang-akit na aroma ng tuyong sakto ang pagkakaprito at pumuputuk-putok pa ang kaliskis pagkahango sa kawali sabay subo sa buwakanginang kanin para magkaroon ng laman ang tiyan mo. Tapos biglang entra naman ‘yung tulisang kuting ng kapitbahay sabay takbo sa kaisa-isang tuyong pagsasaluhan niyo pa sanang mag-anak. Taragis. Kapagka nangyari sakin ‘yun, maski na pinaghalong kakapalan na ng labi ni Diego at kagaspangang hindi kayang daanin sa papel de lihang pisngi ni Chokoleit ang umubos ng lakas ko, kakayanin ko alang-alang sa pamilya ko.

Pero kung tutuusin, isa naman talaga akong puta. Isa ako sa libu-libong  yuppie ng Third world kawntring ‘tong nauwi sa trabahong hindi akma sa tinapos na kurso. Hindi ko alam kung maihuhulma ba ako sa kuwadradong depinisyon ng underemployment pero sa takbo ng ekonomiya ngayong kaliwa’t kanan ang tanggalan sa trabaho, ako pa ba ang magrereklamo? Sa mga panahong tulad nitong walang puknat ang layoff at worldwide recession, ako pa ba ang mamimili ng trabaho?

Isa ako sa libu-libong mga kolboys at kolgels na naglipana sa lansangan kapagka diyes oras ng gabi para kumayod nang bonggang bongga. Hindi alintana ang nakaambang panganib. Di bale nang mareyp sa daan ng matronang kasingganda ni Sarah Geronimo basta wag lang umabsent sa trabaho. Mga makabagong Magdalena at Adonis na hitit buga ang usok mula sa yosi para labanan ang antok. Di bale nang mapuyat magdamag kakasagot ng dumb and dumber calls from hell basta may maiuwi lang na pera pagsapit ng kinsenas at katapusan.

Hindi ko ginusto ang trabahong ‘to. Simula’t sapol, pangarap ko nang itapon sa kung saan-saang lupalop para makipagbembangan sa kung sinu-sinong chick mag-audit ng mga kumpanyang akala mo eh kung sinong bait-baitan sa paggawa ng social reachout aktibidades ekek pero sa totoo’y dinaig pa si Maldito sa paggawa ng kasamaan’t pagpa-pad ng revenues para maliit lang ang dapat kaltasing tax. Kunsabagay. Kung ganitong klase ba naman ng gobyerno ang magpapakasasa sa katas ng cum juice pinagpaguran mo eh mas gugustuhin mo pa ngang unahan na lang sila sa pangungurakot.

Nakakatawa dahil sinabi ko na sa sarili kong pansamantala lang ang pagpapakaputa ko sa ganitong linya ng trabaho. Tinaningan ko ang sarili ko ng anim na buwan hanggang sa matapos ang utol ko sa pagka-inhinyera niya kako. Patalastas: Kung sino man sa inyo ang may alam na kumpanyang nagha-hire ng licensed ECE graduate, mangyari pong pakisabi sakin. Kasalukuyan pa ring nakikipagpatintero ang utol ko sa mga taragis ng  burgis na kumpanya at patuloy pa rin ang pagsubaybay niya sa “Talk to Papa” tuwing hapon  sa radyo dahil sa sobrang pagkaburyong sa apartment.

Lumipas na ang anim na buwan at ang buwan eh naging taon  pero heto ako ngayon, basang basa sa ulan. Walang masisilungan, walang malalapitan. Tae. Kakorni ng puta. Paumanhin. Kagagaling ko lang sa pagpapakaputa at wala pa ‘kong matinong tulog. Sa puntong ito eh labingwalong oras, tatlumpong minuto, at labing-anim na segundo na ‘kong gising. And counting… Kung malabnaw na ang pagkakasatitik ko sa mga kataga rito eh mangyari pong pakibigyan ako ng walang kasing sakit na kutos sa ulo at walang kasing hapding kurot sa kaliwang singit para bumalik ang matinong kabalahuraan ni Lio Loco. Kung hindi epektib, pakidagdag na rin ang matinding sabunot sa aking kinky bulbol habang iwinawasiwas niyo ang sagabal na pototoy ko at nang bumalik ang diwa ko sa makamundong sangkablogosperyohan.

Ayun. Sabi ko nga sa inyo this job is only ephemeral. In fact, I don’t consider call whoring as a profession at all. Tipong pamatid uhaw lang. Kumbaga sa seks, isa lang ‘tong quickie sa library kung saan nagbaunan nang bonggang bongga sina Albert Martinez at Joyce Jimenez sa Scorpio Nights (kung bakit ko nasabi ‘to, iyon eh dahil kakabasa ko lang ule sa last post ng malibog na si Gasti). Dahil wala nang ibang trabahong magbibigay sa’yo ng above-average suweldo nang hindi ka gumagapang nang pabackflip pauwi ng bahay niyo, kinagat ko ang offer ng may-ari ng kasa at isinantabi ang pangarap kong maging isang CPA (Certified Pekpek Arouser). Jokeness ang mga salita sa mga panaklong.

Pero seryoso, ang pagiging CPA ko eh isa sa mga pangarap kong magpasahanggang ngayon eh nananatili pa ring pangarap. Napagtapos ko na ang utol ko. Nakapagreview na siya’t nanumpa bilang certified Electronics and Communications Engineer. Kung tutuusin, tapos na ang responsilidad kong ibinigay sakin nang sapilitan ng taragis na daddy kong ni ha ni ho eh wala kaming narinig matapos mag-stow away at magpakasasa sa mga gatas sa dibdib ng kaaway (Teka, di ba pelikula yun? Hindi naman siguro yun R18 no?). Ibang klase, matapos chumever sa mommy ko nang dalawang beses, bigla biglang maliligaw ng landas at makakahanap ng ibang babaeng makakaharutan nang bonggang bongga. Sarap pag-umpugin ng betlogs ng sperm donor ko eh no?

Kaya ako nandirito sa kinalalagyan ko ngayon. Kaya ako nagpapakaputa at patuloy na pinuput on hold ang mga plano sa buhay. Nasabi ko na sa walang kuwentang kuta kong ‘to ang diskarte ko sanang magretire na by April sa oldest profession na ‘to according to the Baybol. Tas diretso rebyu for the CPA Board. Pero sa takbo ng mga pangyayari sa makamundong landas na tinatahak ko ngayon, mukang malabo na namang matupad ang lahat. Aaminin ko sa inyong kinarir ko na ang pagka-tatay sa utol ko at mommy ko ever since chumeverloo na sa iba ang taragis na daddy ko kaya hindi ko maaaring asikasuhin ang sarili ko hangga’t hindi ko nakikitang kaya na nilang tumayo sa sarili nilang mga paa. Kaya malamang sa malamang, I’ll be putting this one dream in the backseat. Again. And again. And again.

Maddapakingshet! Sinasabi ko na nga ba’t mauuwi na naman sa ka-emo-han ‘to eh. Sabi ko magpapatawa ako ngayon dahil malungkot ako. ‘Yun pala puro kaangasan na naman sa katawan ang ibabalandra ko sa walang kwentang kutang ‘to. Tsk tsk tsk! Sa mga naligaw ng landas, pasensiya na. Bumisita na naman kasi ‘tong taenang empty void sa kukote ko. Biglang naramdaman ko na naman ‘tong pagkakanawa ko sa araw-araw na pagtanggap ng tawag mula sa mga puke ng inang bobo customer from outer space. Siguro naman naramdaman niyo na rin ‘to. At oo, ayokong magpaka-Kurt Cobain dahil hindi ako loser yaya! Kayo, kapagka ganitong nagsisink in na ‘yung pinaghalu-halong stress, fatigue, angas, chicharong bulaklak, pinaupong manok, maning hubad, at inihaw na buto ng kasoy, ano ang ginagawa niyo pangdistract?  Dumidiretso rin ba agad kayo sa kasilyas para ilabas ang sama ng loob? Pashare naman baka sakaling epektib at tumalab sa kaangasan ko.

Haays…Makatulog na nga lang. At nang mapanaginipan ko pa si Sarah G. at ang kanyang super lufeet powerhugz! Goodnight peepz! (Good afternoon para sa mga normal na nilalang).

Whoops! Muntik ko nang makalimutan. May ipaparinig pala ‘ko sa inyo. Lalo na sa mga nagbabalak magpakapokpok sa ganitong klaseng trabaho. Kaya niyo bang masikmura ‘to bilang isang kolboy/kolgel? Kung kayo ang nasa sitwasyon ng agent, ano ang gagawin niyo? Ako? Mumurahin ko siya nang bonggang bongga sabay sabing “Ma’am, kung anu-ano pang satsat mo diyan. Eto ang kargada ko, i-lollipop mo at nang matigil ka na.” Jokeness ule. Nakalimutan kong may mga batang manonood pala sa walang kuwentang kutang ‘to. Ang masasabi ko lang: Walang personalan, trabaho lang.

Eto na po…Due to explicit expletives content, Parental Guidance is advised. Pasensiya sa poor quality ng audio recording. AMR file lang kasi yan na kinonvert ko sa MP3.  Hakhak!

irate client

P.S.

Bilangin ang P-word. Ang makakakuha ng tamang bilang ng P-word na pinakawalan ni irate customer eh pahihintulutan kong kagatin ang makatas na adam’s apol ko.

Off-topic: 

Sa susunod na linggo eh ikaanim na buwan na ng pagbabalahura ko sa mundo ng sangkablogosperyohan.  Akalain mo yun? Wan handred eyti deys en istil surbaybing? Humigit kumulang 250,000 hits na ang natamasa ng walang kuwentang kutang ‘to and still counting. Lubos po akong nagpapasalamat sa lahat ng mga naligaw ng landas at tumangkilik sa Breathing the SSDD Mantra. Sana lang talaga may isang nilalang out there na may ginintuang puso ng saging na magdonate ng domain para tuluy-tuloy na ang ligaya. Maski domain lang po (pwede na ang “thessddboy.com” o di kaya naman eh “ssdd.com”). Hakhak! At dahil uso ang mga kung anu-anong ekek sa mga ganitong pagkakataon, may pakulo akong iniluluto. Ipapasada ko na yan next week. Abangan ang susunod na kabanata.

*Photo credit goes to Rai, who caught a candid shot of me ala-Plato mode in one of our post-shift excursions.

Update:

At sa wakas eh meron akong nautong nilalang sa makamundong sangkablogosperyohan. Mali mali. Ulitin ko nga. Sa di inaasahang pagkakataon, merong napakabusilak ang puso ng saging na nakinig sa panalangin kong mag-sponsor ng domain sa walang kuwentang kutang ‘to at nang di na maiblock pa ng buwakanginang IT namin sa pinagkakaputahan ko. Ang Good Samaritan pala eh nagkukuta sa Canada at nagtatago sa pangalang Kosa.Pogi. Naku naman. Napakapogi talaga ng asteeging nilalang na ‘to. Nakita niyo na ba maskels niyan? Taob ang mga Hunghanks at Maskelados sa biceps niyan. At ang muka? Walang panama ang pinagsanib na sex appeal ni Piolo Pascual, Brad Pitt, Hugh Jackman, at John Lloyd Mongoloid. Pinakamalufeet sa lahat ang laman ng kuta niya. Mapapatambling kayo sa tawa. I swear. Itataya ko ang buhay niya, pramis! Hakhak!

Kosang Poging Pogi, salamat ng marami sa maagang bertdey gip. Ngayon ang problema ko, pano na ang mga posts ko rito? Pwede bang i-import? Hindi ko sila pwedeng ulilain. Taragis. Sakit ng ulo tuloy o. 

Posted by ssdd at 2:14 pm | permalink

Previous Comments

ako kaya ang base dito?ahehhee…

normal na sakin ang mga ganyang putangeinang chuvaness na yan…ahehhee…3 years of being a putah…kapal na balat ko sa ganyan..

pero magshishift ako ng career ko..kaya nga uuwi ako this weekend!yehey!!ahahahhaa…may God give this work..ayoko na..di ko na gusto maging putah…hu huhu

Posted by Maldito at March 10, 2009, 7:54 pm

pårekøi..aatakihin yata ako sa betlog este sa puso pag naka-encuentro ako ng ganyang lunatic-caller from hell na yan…parang nakawala ata sa straitjacket nya nung time na tumawag..ü

dahil idol kita pårekøi nakahanda akong tumulong sa engineer-sister mo kahit na
ma-compromise ang anonymity ko..hehehe
let see if i could still pull some strings from
my ex-whorehouse albeit my abscond stats

just email me bro

Posted by ålx at March 10, 2009, 10:50 pm

happy monthsary hahaha!

Posted by mangbadoy at March 10, 2009, 11:06 pm

cumming right up sir!

Haha. Chillax kabayan!

Sa sistema ng daigdig ngayon, kung saan laspag na laspag na ang ekonomiya at sobrang madami ang gumagahasa at nananamantala sa yaman na para sa bayan at sa mga tao, di matatapos ang tunggalian ng want at need natin. Ako nga dito, kung ano-ano na lang ginagawa ko, kahit na taliwas sa kurso ko, kumita lang ng bwakanang pera. Buti sana kung saksakan kami ng yaman. Buti sana kung madaling maghanap ng trabahong nababagay sa tinapos mong kurso na nagbibigay ng malaking sweldo. Eh kaso wala eh. Tsk.

Posted by samjuan at March 11, 2009, 2:12 am

@maldito: ikaw nga. adeek! hehehe…
3 years ka nang puta? naku naman. bilasang bilasa ka na pala. madami nang nagpakasasa ng laman mo at nakahigop ng katas mo. tulad ng mga puta sa kasa ni ferbert. bleech!
at may pashift shift ka pang nalalaman ngayon? anong linya naman? bugaw? huwaw! promoted! lolz!
sige sige. sana nga ibigay sa’yo ni Lord yan. walang gustong magpakaputa. bilib me. no choice lang tayo kaya tayo napasok sa ganitong linya. huhuhu…
p.s. kelan ka luwas dito? 60-40 na ang isip kong makipagkita senio. sana nga lang eh dey op ko. hehehe.

Posted by ssdd at March 11, 2009, 2:12 am

@alx: naku naku. nakalimutan ko ule ung mga alt shortcut ekek. patutor nga ule. hehehe.
naks! asteegin ka talagang pinoy viking warrior ka! salamat salamat!
ang kaso, hindi pa xa pwedeng mag-abroad dahil nakatali xa sa 5-year mandatory service dito sa pinas dahil dost iskolar xa nung college.
pero sige sige. i-email kita apter payb yirs. ahehehe. or better yet, ako na lang maghahanap ng work jan. ahehehe. may vancancy ba for akawntansi gradweyts? lolz!
apir! Ü

Posted by ssdd at March 11, 2009, 2:20 am

@samjuan: ahehehe. panalo ung cumming right up sir!
kelangan ko talagang magchillax. wala namang mangyayari kung puro na lang ako reklamo. utot lang ‘to. pag lumabas, okey na ule ang tiyan ko. hehehe.
basta ang alam ko, kapagka okey na ang utol at mommy ko, todo follow my dreams na ang magiging drama ko. malapit na siguro yun. hehehe.
mabuhay tayong mga di nagpapagapi sa mga pagsubok kabayan! :D

Posted by ssdd at March 11, 2009, 2:22 am

taena… nakalimutan ko yung sasabihin ko sana nung marinig ko yung audio…lols

taena.. yung customer sobrang bagsik.. nakakawindang. parang angsarap saksakan ng &*(^&%& sa bibig.. taena sobrang nakakagulat.

nakailang pasa ba yung tawag? nakailang mura sya..lols. haaaaaaa..
basta ang bagsik nya..
nakakatakot…
parang nagngingitngit na tigre..
ninenerbyos tuloy ako…
parang eksena sa Pelikula…

****************************************

sige sige, saludo na ako sa pagiging Puta mo.. at sa pangarap mong maging CPa good luck good luck pa rin.. sa kapatid mo, makakahanap pa rin yan ng mapapasukang trabaho.. hahaha pumunta sya sa GMa nangangailangan sila ng ECE.. narinig ko lang.. hehehe

sige sige ninanamnam ko pa rin yung mura nung caller.. taena.. nakakapanggigil..
sa susunod pakigandahan ang audio

Posted by koSA.Pogi at March 11, 2009, 3:11 am

hay si ako nga almost nine years na sex slave, wahahahaha

kapag nabasa to ni kengkoy ako ang mapupukpok nito e :D

Posted by kengkay at March 11, 2009, 4:37 am

@kosa: ayan kasi. dapat nagcomment ka muna bago mo pinakinggan ang audio. lolz!
bagsik no? kung ako lang talaga nakausap niyan, taena, patatahimikin ko gamit ang naghuhumindig kong pototoy. leche. hindi ako minumura ng nanay ko tas pupulbusin lang pala ko ng mura? taena niya. lintek lang ang walang latay. ahehehe.
sa gma? sige sige. sabihin ko sa kaniya. next week kasi luwas na un sa probinxa eh. puro kasi talk to papa ang kinaaadeekan sa bahay. haayss…
gago! kaw na nga nakirinig, kaw pa demanding. lolz! eh sa converted amr nga lang kasi yan. :D

Posted by ssdd at March 11, 2009, 5:55 am

@mami kengks: huwaw! siguro bihasa na kayo sa mga damoves kung ganun? ung tipong mani na lang ang pole dancing? ahehehe.
naku naku. wag na lang pong ipabasa. muka ngang konserbatib si kengkoy niyo. hehehe. :D

Posted by ssdd at March 11, 2009, 5:56 am

WOW..HINDI NAMAN PALA MASYADONG PAYATOT O SADYANG TRIPLE XL ANG SWEATER BANG MAITATAWAG DYAN KAYA NAGMUKHANG MACHO SI PAPA LIO LOCO..ME SAKIT AKO KAYA HINDI MASAYDONG NAKAPASYAL ANG DYOSA DYOSAHAN SA PABORITO NIYANG KUTA..

ANYHOOO, BAKIT BA MURA NG MURA EH GINUSTO MO NAMAN YAN..PUMASOK KA SA PAGKAPUTA KAYA PANINDIGAN MO YAN..AHEKS, JOKES..LOOK PN THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE..MARAMI DIN NAMANG NAIDUDULOT NA GOOD AND POSITIVE STUFFS IYANG TARAGIS MONG CAREER..

DONCHA WORI AGEN PAPA LIO LOCO, PAGNANALO AKO SA LOTTO, BIBILHIN KITA AT ISISAVE KITA SA PUTANG KUTANG IYAN.

COME TO THINK OF IT..MAGPAPABENTA KA BA SAKIN O MAGPAPAKAPUTA KA NALANG DYAAN..AHEKS..

Posted by vanvan at March 11, 2009, 11:11 am

NGA PALA..ME TAG NA NAMAN AKO PARA SAYO..SAGUTIN MO YUN HA..

THANKS IN ADVANCE PAPA LIO LOCO..

MWAAH…

Posted by vanvan at March 11, 2009, 11:25 am

Mukhang i cancanecel ko ang pagpunta ko dyan..pasalamat ka putah..ahahhahaa..may important matters ako na aasikasuhin..alam mo na..shifting carreers kung baga,,aaahahhaa

however, at taalgang may however pa….dyan ko icecelbrate bday ko…malapit na!yehey!

Posted by Maldito at March 11, 2009, 1:02 pm

alam mo yan, dumarating din aq sa point na minsan parang gusto q na lang biglang manuntok ng mang ba badtrip sa ken dahil sa stresss na inaabot q sa aking evryday life..Ü pero xempre ayoqng mabahiran ng kasamaan ang pangaln q kaya aun, minsan dadalin na lang aq ng nanay q sa mental hospital dahil lahat na lang cnasarili q (ung mga problma lang cnasarili q..Ü)… at pag may pagkakataon eh, gala galore wid my frends sabay labas ng sma ng loob sa pamamagitan ng bonggang bongang videoke.Ü 3 yrs na qng nagpapakaputa, at talagang nakakapgod na ng bongga. yaan mo darating din yung tym na maiiba na yung takbo ng buhay naten..Ü aq nga eh, ilang beses q ng cnabi na magpapa alila naman aq sa abroad pero nasan pa rin aq, nagpapakaputa pa rin. i enjoi mo na lang lahat ng ngyayari sa u.. talagng nakakapagod, icpn mo na lang matatapos din lahat ng kalokohang 2..Ü taking care….Ü

Posted by kuting at March 11, 2009, 9:33 pm

haayyzzz buhay nga naman sadyang mapaglaro ang tadhana. Pero proud ako sa’yo bro kasi tinataguyod mo ng maayos ang mom at kapatid mo kahit nag-disappearing act ang tatay mong kalbo na siguro ngayon.
Darating din ang time na matutupad mo lahat yan bro, pag pray ko kapatid mo na makahanap ng work, para sarili mo naman ang maasikaso mo.

congrats magiging dotkomero ka na rin! madali lang export/import lang yan bro. Mag wordpress ka na cms para madali.

Posted by Basti at March 12, 2009, 12:23 am

@kuting: ang haba. muntik na kong di makahinga. pero impernes, may sense. lolz! Ü
salamat sa advice! akshuli, alam ko naman kung pano mawala tong emo mode na ‘to eh. isang case lang ng pulang red horse tsaka dalawang long neck ng gsm. with matching pole-dancing ng kung sino mang makinis na porn starletz jan. jokeness ung huling statement. hehehehe. Ü
3 yrs ka na? huwaw! isa ka na palang certified jurassic putaness. lolz! siguro alam mo na labas-masok ng…teka…ang sagwa naman ng term ko…labas-masok talaga eh. i mean, pasikut-sikot ng kalakaran. wahehehe. Ü
oo, in the due time of the GUy Up There, malalampasan ko rin ‘to. Ü
and then i’ll live happily ever after…kasama si sarah geronimo. wahehehe. adeekamputa! Ü
powerhugz!Ü

Posted by lio loco at March 12, 2009, 2:17 am

@vanvan: HOIST, TSHIRT LANG KAYA SUOT KO JAN. ALANG SWEATER O JACKET NA PANDAGDAG VOLUME? WAHEHEHE.
MUKANG MACHO NA BA? AYOS! IBIG SABIHIN UMEEPEK NA ANG PAGWE-WEIGHTS KO AT PAGPAPAPALAKI NG MASKELS. HUMANDA SI MALDITO’T KOSA SAKIN. WAHEHEHE.
DI NAMAN AKO NAGMURA KAYA. SI IRATE CUSTOMER UNG MURA NG MURA NO. DEPRESSED-DEPRESSAN LANG AKO NGAYON. PERO OKEI NA ULE. KAYO ANG NAGPAPASAYA SAKIN. KAYONG MGA NALIGAW NG LANDAS DITO ANG NAG-AALIS NG SAMA NG LOOB KO. WOOSHOO!
AH…KAYA PALA. PAGALING KA PO. ISANG PAMPAGALING NA POWERHUGZ PARA SA’YO! POWERHUGZ! Ü

Posted by lio loco at March 12, 2009, 2:20 am

@vanvan: P.S. NA NAMAN? NAKNGPATING! HAAAY…AYOKO NGA NG MGA TAG TAG EKEK NA YAN. SIGE SIGE. TINGNAN NATIN KUNG MAAALIW AKO. BLOG BACKLOG NA NAMAN O. TSK TSK TSK! Ü

Posted by lio loco at March 12, 2009, 2:22 am

@maldito: at ako pa magpapasalamat ngayon? ulol! im doing you a favor no.
hmmmkei…sige sige. gudlak sa shifting karir mo.
kelan ba bertdey mo? pakantot…este, pakanton ka. lolz!

Posted by lio loco at March 12, 2009, 2:24 am

@basti: ala ka bang ibang nickname bro? pag tinitipa ko kasi tong pangalan mo, laging “bati” ang naiisip ko. ang bigkas eh sa paraang maragsa. ahehehe. joke lang broder!
salamat salamat! kani-kaniyang ka-emo-han lang ‘to broder. pero mas saludo ako sa’yo. ang aga mong naging tatay at nakakaya mo pa ring maging kewl sa kabila ng lahat.
pano ba un? hindi ko alam magimport. waaah! sabi ni kosa, dapat daw blogspot ang gamitin ko. dun niya ata bibilhin ung domain. tama ba? ah ewan. nakakaloko ang mga cms ekek. paturo ako sa’yo minsan. pag natuloi ang pramis ni kosang poging pogi. wahehehe. :D

Posted by lio loco at March 12, 2009, 4:24 am

hahahaha, may sense ba.. ibig sabihin nian pareho lang taung nasa emo mode..Ü lam q na kung bakit mo bet c sarah g, mejo kahawig xa nung niliwagan mo eh…Ü pag mga ganitong pagkakataon gusto q ng super proxy.Ü tapos pag ok na lahat balik na ulet sa mundo q…Ü nasabi q na ba sa ung nakita na kita.Ü kung ndi pa, ayan alam mo na na nakita na kita..Ü taking care…Ü

Posted by kuting at March 12, 2009, 7:39 pm

adddiiiiiiik :D
nakalimutan ko na kung ganu katagal yung di ako nakatulog straight. pero sa ganang akin, sleep is exaggerated.

ewan ko ha, pero natiis ko rin naman yung unain muna yung kapatid at mga magulang tsaka one time, nagising na lang ako in a much easier situation after so many yrs. in short, kaya mo yan.

well, i have boobs pa nga. nakakabigat. ikaw pa na mukhang magaan naman ang mga itloy. haha. but i am thinking aganin as i type this. :P

Posted by tinay at March 13, 2009, 4:51 am

wow ha gusto mo lumioat sa .com bakit hehe…
saka alam mo hindi lang ikaw ang may binubuhay kaya wag ka malungkot hehe…ako nga kaptid ko nanay’tatay ko at ung 2 chikiting ko san ka pa d ba hehe mas maswerte ka pa nga hehe..at nakapag tapos ka na rin ng isang kapatid ako hehe di ko mapag aral sarili ko gustuhin ko man hehe (emo) ok lang yan lahat naman ng nasayang na lakas sayo babalik rin yan ng mas higit pa pramis hehe…

hindi ko muna pinakinggan yang audio file mo kasi andito ko sa shop maririnig ng mga customer ko hehe baka mag alisan eh hehe…

wow kaylan ba bertdey mo ano gusto mong regalo babae ba hehe…

Posted by anakngpating at March 13, 2009, 2:40 pm

nak ng pasenya na lumipat yan hindi lumioat hehe …nagmamadali lang..badtrip toinx..

Posted by anakngpating at March 13, 2009, 2:42 pm

pero ito lang parekoy, may offer akong hindi mo matatanggihan.laki ng bayad.

ibalandra lang natin ang naghuhumindig nating pototoy sa makamundong teleserye ng totoong buhay.malaki kayang magtip sina madame auring,mystika at mahal.

ayan ginaya lang kita,lalim eh.haha

Posted by flamindevil at March 14, 2009, 5:32 am

agree ako sa suhestyon ni FD. *turo sa taas*

seriously, congrats sa domain, dude! :D

Posted by deejay at March 14, 2009, 11:59 am

@tinay: mas adeeeek ka! lolz!
pag pumupunta ako sa kuta mo, ayun, medyo nababawasan ka-emo-han ko sa buhay. kaya maraming salamat tinay. sulat ka pa tungkol sa singgit. it alleviates my down-trodden feeling. hehehe.
i’ll follow your suggestion. hehehe.
maboobs ka nga. care to donate some milk? ahehehe. :D

Posted by lio loco at March 14, 2009, 5:53 pm

@anakngpating: hehehe. hindi naman maxado. pag datkomista na kasi ako, hindi na pwedeng iblock ng IT namin yung kuta ko sa production floor. hakhak!
at may anak ka na pala. saludo na ko sa’yo miss anakngpating. ang mga tulad mong mapagparaya ang dapt binibiyayaan ni Lord.
teka, ala ka bang nick at nang gumanda ganda naman nang konti ang pagbanggit ko sa’yo. hehehe.

Posted by lio loco at March 14, 2009, 6:06 pm

@flamindevil: ulol! hindi pa ko ganun kadesperado! para kay sarah lang tong naghuhumindig kong pototoy. wahehehe.
mystika? eh di ba sila na nga ni maldito? wahahaha!

Posted by lio loco at March 14, 2009, 6:10 pm

@deejay: isa ka pa. lolz! thanks thanks! :D

Posted by lio loco at March 14, 2009, 6:10 pm

hi…i dont know what should i say from all of ur’s writings. But it seems that, i was inspired and realized something than being lonely all of these time.

hope ok k lang…

Posted by cez at March 14, 2009, 7:05 pm

@cez: may bago na namang naligaw ng landas. ahehehe. my writings are the by-product of my idiosyncratic thoughts. so yes, it’s more often idiotic. lolz! hold a sec there miss. did you say yo got inspired by this post? pls tell me you’re in high fevers right now. lolz! still, my thanks for dropping by.

Posted by lio loco at March 14, 2009, 8:05 pm

@kuting: kamuka ba SIYA ni sarah g? hindi ko napansin. pero siguro nga ganun. hehehe.
nakita mo na ko? di nga? saan? kelan? dami tanong eh no? bat di mo ko tinawag at nang kumaripas ako ng takbo. ahehehe. :D

Posted by lio loco at March 14, 2009, 8:11 pm

just call me love o lovely na lang hehe real name ko yan loco hehe…

at for your info wala pa kong anak pamangkin lang ang meron ako 2 yun at akong ang stage mother nila habang wala ang kanilang ina hehe…

pero ang lola nila ang nagaalaga hehe suporta lang pala ko hindi pala stage mother hehe (parang ang gulo ko)pero uu chikiting kasi tawag ko saknila kaya napagkakamalan akong may anak na hehe/..///

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anonymous.jpg

 

A lot of people tell me I’m special. Of course I freakin’ am! You don’t have to stress the obvious. That’s being redundant.

 

I’m a friggin’ yuppie in his early twenties but looks even younger than his age, sometimes mistaken for a scrawny 17-year-old virgin and as such, I have decided to become eternally twenty to be on the safe side. I am slaving the ephemeral call center whoring job as of the moment but one day, I will become a fuckin’ proud CPA topnotcher. Being a perfectionist who does not conform to stereotypes and anything commonplace, I abhor senseless, pointless discussions by nitwits but adore intellectual discourses from remarkable geniuses in the same league with the caliber of my neurons and synapses.

 


I like wearing black shirts even if black is not a color and I love drinking Red Horse booze with pineapple syrup or GSM Blue enhanced by acerbic Sprite when the night is hugged by penis-shrinking coldness in Baguio. I am left-handed and I like to draw but that does not mean I am dumb at Math. Along with English, Math was one of my favorite subjects in high school. I love to watch anything shocking, gross and bizarre; in fact, I find scenes of decapitated heads and messy, blood-soaked innards oddly engaging. I think I'm eclectic.

 


When my half-Chinese dad chickened out, I got robbed of my childhood phase real quick and was forced to live out the family man title. That was also the time that I bade goodbye to the princely way of living in Manila and said hello to the clusterfuck pauper proletariat life in the province. Being the smartass that I am, I excelled academically and graduated half-wishing I had a worthy adversary in the mold of Einstein or da Vinci to sharpen my not-fully-developed cranial muscles. But if you ask me of my biggest achievement so far, I would have to tell you that’s when I sent my sister to schooling and saw her taking her oath as a Certified Electronics and Communications Engineer. I chose to put my dreams in the back seat for her, you see.

 


When I was still in school, I thought my seatmates were drooling retards and I was an effin’ superior child unworthy to be kept inside such a fucked up pig pen. For chrissake, I deserve something far better than those freakin’ bozos! So if I could choose who I want to share the claustrophobic classroom with, I’d pick Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, JK Rowling, Jessica Zafra, Patricia Evangelista, Conrado de Quiroz, Bob Ong and Scott Garceau hands down. They’re authors, if you’re that stupid, by the way.

 

I do not possess the vapid handsomely looks of dumb celebrity stars (they only have the looks but they don’t have that thing in between the ears, anyway) but I am not ugly either. I think I’m cute and as in my penis, my looks could be thrown up there in the above-average file. I am narcissistic and unsurprisingly, I find satisfaction in looking at myself in mirrors. There’s one flaw in my nearly perfect personality though. I am horizontally-challenged and that actually makes me less handsome than I should be. People have been telling me that had I been given a mesomorph frame, I would surely qualify as a handsome dork. Fine, I’ll hit the gym once I find the time. But then again, I’ve always been busy.

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I love writing and someday, when I’ve already reached the stars and danced under stardust sprinkles, I will write the Great Filipino Novel that will put the Philippines in the world literary map. In the meantime though, I content myself with polluting the Internet bandwidth with fuck-me-Freddy rants and unlimited R18 invectives.


I am a narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard in orgiastic moans recluse and this blog is my first attempt in realizing my idiosyncratic world domination plots. There are currently almost 6.7 billion suckers lurking out there contributing nothing to society but vomit-inducing stupidity. Most of these people are worthy to be guillotined to death for harking out such idiotic yadda yadda's.

 

If you believe in this horrendous truth, then join me in ridding the macrocosm of these useless, pathetic twits. If you're the twit, though, go find someone to savor your last fornication on earth and then prepare to be annihilated. The world will be a better place to live in without you, anyway.



This is my blog. You either love me or hate me. Adding me in your blog roll list is fine but don't expect that I will publish your effin' you're-going-to-hell comment. And yes, I don't do ex-links. That's being pathetic. The blogs in my  blog roll are those that I peruse regularly and normally, I don't tell these people I've added them in the list. If you find that offending or for whatever reason, you feel it is an invasion of your privacy rights, just let me know. I'll scrap your site in the list real quick. Otherwise, consider it a form of flattery.

 

ON SECOND THOUGHT, I THINK I AM NOW WILLING TO DO EX-LINKS. ALL THESE BLOGGERS WHO WILLINGLY PERUSED THIS GOOD-FOR-NOTHING BLOG MADE ME CHANGE MY MIND. SO YES, YOU CAN NOW COMMENT USING A "NICE POST! EX-LINK?" TEMPLATE. HAPPY?

 

Caution: Breathing the SSDD Mantra is my idiosyncrasy in print. If you can't take the heat in this ranting oven, close the tab and  go screw your next-door neighbor's wife, you pathetic little twit!

 

Don't say I didn't warn you...

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douche bag diatribe unlmtd.

go friggin' plagiarize others' works instead

been harry pottered since the philosopher's and when the saga died down in deathly hallows, i got pottered just the same...sigh!

one effin' proof why pinoys are waaay more superior than their occidental brethrens in the history of friggin' humanity

shaving off the angst-ridden bastardness in me (play with my hamster using your mouse pointer)

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