Suddenly, the Narcissistic, Angst-ridden Bastard (Who Values His Anonymity Ad Infinitum) Begins to Open Up to the Freakin’ Third World Pinoy Blogosphere (Last of Two Parts)

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Suddenly, the Narcissistic, Angst-ridden Bastard (Who Values His Anonymity Ad Infinitum) Begins to Open Up to the Freakin’ Third World Pinoy Blogosphere (Last of Two Parts)

March 1, 2009

Likas na sa mga Pinoy ang pagiging adeek sa piktyuran. Bigyan mo ang isang nilalang na nagkukuta sa España ng isang DSLR at pihadong ang unang-una niyang gagawin eh magkukulong sa kwarto, magtatanggal ng damit at salawal at pipiktyuran ang sarili nang hubo’t hubad. Patay-malisya ang puta. Tapos pag nagsawa na sa kakatingin sa nude photo eh saka naman buburahin para ‘wag maikalat ang scandal sa makamundong malawak na sapot.

Wag kang ipokrito. Ayon kay Good Times Moe Twister, SOP na yan kapagka nagkaroon ka ng isang gadget na kayang kumuha ng litrato, mapa-camera phone man yan, digital camera, o jurassic manual camera na kelangan ng rolyo ng film (buhay pa ba ang mga ganung klase ng camera?).

Kaya nga nauso sa Third world kawntring ‘to ang mga social site ekeks tulad ng Friendster, Facebook at Flicker na walang patid sa pagbalandra ng mga animalistic na kuha ng salinlahing adeek sa sariling imahe. ‘Yung tipong “Hoy! Walang pakialamanan! Eh sa gusto kong makita kung gaano kalaki ang butas ng ilong ko at kung gaano kakapal ang busal ng bibig ko…kebs!” kind of reaction. Hindi sapat ang araw-araw nang pagtingin sa salamin pagkagising, pagkatapos maligo, bago maalis, pangalawang ulet bago umalis, pangatlong ulet bago umalis dahil hindi kuntento, pang-apat na harap sa salamin bago umalis dahil parang may kulang, pagkarating, at bago matulog.

Dahil dama ng Globe ang matinding pangangailangan nating ito ng mga Pinoy , minabuti nilang likhain ang isa na namang first-class mobile service na tiyak na kababaliwan ng mga nilalang na hindi maawat sa pagkahumaling sa kanilang mga narcissistic selves. Oha oha! Ayos ba ang segue way? Hakhak!

Ipinakikilala ng Globe ang Pixlink, isa na namang revolutionary service sa mundo ng sangkaselponan na sigurado akong kagigiliwan at kababaliwan niyong mga adeekamputa sa piktyuran. It’s a new user-friendly, sloth-happy community that allows you to back up, share, publish photos and videos from your mobile phone and all for just a single click. Hindi obyus na kinuha ko lang sa press release kit na ipinamudmod samin no? Lolz!

Pero seryoso, ang kaigihan ng bagong mobile service na ‘to eh hindi mo na kelangan ng computer para mag-upload ng photos sa mga social site ekeks mo. Kasi nga naman di ba, palasak na ang araw-araw na pagkuha ng mga piktyurs natin thru our camera phones maski na wala naman talagang kadahi-dahilan. Trip trip lang kumbaga! Tapos, pagdating sa bahay, tsaka naman ikokonek sa PC at ia-upload sa Intarnets. Hassle di ba? Aksaya ng oras. Sa Pixlink, ang piktyur na inupload mo eh nakasave sa isang system storage na pwedeng pwede mong i-retrieve kapagka online ka na. Kumbaga, from cellphone directly to the Internet na agad, bypassed na ang PC transfer process. At ang isa pang papparappapa Love-ko-’to moment sa service na ‘to eh pwede mo siyang gawing widget na ready to salpak na sa blog kuta mo. Asteeg di ba? San ka pa?

But wait, there’s more. Dahil ang bagong Pixlink service ng Globe eh under beta phase testing pa lang, ang service na ‘to eh libreng-libre sa lahat ng sangkablogsperyohan hanggang March. So whatcha waiting por? Pumunta na sa link na’to, magsign-up at janjararan, you’re on your way to becoming a certified adeek-sa-piktyur-amputa.

Matutuwa kayo, pramis! Case in point? Heto ang mga pruweba, mga piktyurs na nakalkal ko sa pagpasada sa Pixlink site kanina. Enjoy:

Babala: Wag magpapapiktyur pag lango na sa alak. Pissssss man, pissssssss!

Bagay kami di ba? Bagay na bagay! Whatcha think?

Wag kang lumapit sakin. May severe case of halitosis ako at kakamumog ko lang ng tubig sa poso-negro.

Puta! Ayoko nang tumikim ng pussy kung ganito rin lang.

Kam ismel my super sukang paumbong with matching siling labuyo kilikili. Talbog ang Datu Puti rito.

Hops! Ang SOP yakap piktyuran bago ang bembangan! Hehehe.

‘Eto talaga ang nakalagay na caption nung kinuha ko: Miss Earth 2009!

Spot the difference: Ano ang pagkakaiba ng bakawan sa baklang nakatayo sa gitna? Sirit: Ang bakawan matigas. Ang bakla, mahilig sa matigas. Lolz!

O di ba? Ang kakapal ng peys! Mabuti sana kung magaganda ang kuha ng mga puke ng ina. Ang kaso, madalas sa madalas, malimit na mukang pinasadahan ng limanlibong pison ang mga hinayupak. Pero ganiyan talaga ang mga Pinoy, likas na mahiyain. Wahahaha! Isang patunay na hindi talaga ako nag-iisa sa pagiging isa kong narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard.

At bago ko tuluyang isara ang tabing ng taragis na promotion na ‘to, heto ang ubod ng sarap na panghimagas na nakalkal ko rin sa Pixlink site kanina. Meet my hardinera, kusinera, katulong, and personal masahista. Mga dahilan kung bakit allergic ako sa tao at hindi na ‘ko makalabas sa kwarto ko. Wahahaha!

Si Luningning, ang malusog kong kusinera,

Si Milagring, ang fit na fit kong masahista,

Si Mariposa, ang super cute kong katulong,

At si Saicy, ang uber hot kong hardinera.

P.S. Sana makaramdam ang Globe na wala pa ‘kong compatible na camera phone para testingin ang bagong Pixlink service. Ahem ahem! Paging the events coordinator of the Beta Evaluators Group. Hindi po ako nagpaparamdam sa mga kinauukulan. Nagpapalipad-hangin lang. Wahehehe.

Posted by ssdd at 8:15 pm | permalink

Previous Comments

asteeeg nga yan parekoy..

hehehe.. sana marinig ng mga kinauukulan ang iyung mga palipad hangin. wehehehe

masubukan nga yan..kapag nagpalit ako ng Globe(smart user kase ako ngayun)

teka teka, sana pinangalanan mo yung mga picture picture na ginamit mong katatawanan..lols
para naman ma-credit din sa kanila yung mga litrato nilang walang kakwentakwenta..
hehehe
peace..

kitakits

Posted by koSA.Pogi at March 2, 2009, 1:41 am

Kahiya nga naman kung makita ng buong sanlibutang ang pic mong mukhang ewan, pero talagang likas na sa pinoy ang pakapalan ng peys. Hayaan nalang natin sila, sila din naman ang gagawing kakatawanan.

inpeyrnes ah bumawi ka sa huling mga pix, kala ko ganun na kasagwa lahat eh. hahaha

Posted by Basti at March 2, 2009, 1:55 am

@kosa: hahaha. sana nga malipad ng hangin sa pinagkukutahan nila ang feeler ko. wahehehe.
subukan mo na. now na! dali! ako rin, smart user. pero meron akong globe at sun. red mobile na lang ang kulang. ganun ako kaadeek. wehehehe.
ayoko nang pangalanan. baka mas lalo silang maging sikat. wahehehe. ang totoo niyan, magnanakaw lang talaga ako. madalas ang pics na nilalagay ko rito, kung saang lupalop ko lang sa google kinuha. lolz!
bounce!
…sa mcdo!

Posted by ssdd at March 2, 2009, 2:48 am

@basti: hehehe. yan ang pinoy. walang kinikilingan, walang inuurungan, walang pinorotektahan. panig sa katotohanan, panig sa bayan. lolz!
hahaha. ayos no? hot na hot ang mga potah. akshuli gusto ko silang mabembang, este…mameet in person. hehehe.

Posted by ssdd at March 2, 2009, 2:50 am

ang gaganda naman ng huling apat na bhebot… kudos sa globe pero matakot ka kasi yung mga hacker pwedeng ma hack yan at pati tinatago mong pic makukuha din nila… so mahirap din..

Posted by mb at March 2, 2009, 1:46 pm

at ayun naman pala yung new products and services na cnasabi mo. ay sana nga marinig nila ang palipad-hangin mo. at may natutunan ako sa post mo: mali pala ang “segway”. isa pala yung sasakyan. ang tamang ispelling bagama’t gayon din ang bigkas ay “segue” tulad nang nasa post mo. bembang lang bembang!

Posted by binchee at March 2, 2009, 2:27 pm

WOW, PROMO BOY NA RIN PALA SI PAPA LIO LOCO..MAGKANO NAMAN ANG BAYAD NG PIXLINK SAU..
NATUWA AKO SA MGJOWANG NGPAPIKTYUR PA BEFORE THE BEMBANGAN…PERO MAS MATUTUWA AKO KUNG NAIPOST DIN DITO ANG KAMACHOHAN ESTE KAPAYATOTAN NI PAPA LIO LOCO..

HMMM…PENGE NAMAN NG POWERHUGZ JAN!!!

Posted by vanvan at March 2, 2009, 3:46 pm

hahah dito ko lang natututunan ang mga terms mong yan.
Nakalimutan ko pala sabihin.. Salamat! Yun lang.

Posted by Basti at March 2, 2009, 4:42 pm

nampotah. dapat bayaran ka ng globe sa adbertaysment mo na to.haha

nagtrabaho ko sa kumpanyang yan before.call center.liit ng sweldo.leche

Posted by flamindevil at March 3, 2009, 12:59 am

@mang badoy: hanglufeet ng mga alindog nila di ba? pag ganto talaga ang mga kasama ko sa bahay, hindi na ko magpapakaputa. at magha-hiatus na ko for life, maubusan na ng likido kung mauubusan. hakhak!
ah, ganun ba? ala akong alam sa hack hack na yan. natanong na rin ata yan nung isang imbayted na reporter kung gaano kasecure ung site. ang sabi naman nung indianong software engineer nila, secure na secure daw. pag nahack, o di ipadeport sa india si software engineer. hehe.

Posted by ssdd at March 3, 2009, 2:44 am

@binchee: at eto nga ang sinasabi kong products and services. hehehe. segway ba gamit mo? pwes, now you know. segue way. may UE. diyan grumadweyt ung mama ko. at kung anong kinalaman nun sa comment na to, hindi ko rin alam. wehehehe. sana nga, marinig ag palipad hangin. dasal din yan ni rai. hehehe.

Posted by ssdd at March 3, 2009, 2:46 am

@vanvan: PROMOTED NA PO AKO FROM PAGPAPAKAPUTA TO PAGPOPROMO. WAHEHEHE. GRATIS ANG LAHAT, WALANG BAYAD ANG PROMOTION NA ‘TO. PURO LANG FREE FOODS AT FREEBIES. SANA NGA MAY FREE CAM PHONE PARA MASAYA DI BA? WAHEHEHE.
NATUWA RAW. EH OBYUS NAMING NI-REMINISCE MO LANG YUNG GANIYANG MOMENT NIO NG BIEP MO. AHAHAHA. JOKENESS LANG VANVAN DYOSA. BAKA LUMAKI BUTAS NG ILONG MO NIYAN. HIHIHIHI.
WAG KA. NAGWE-WEIGHTS AKO NGAYON. SAKIT NGA KAMO NG MGA MASKELS KO. AHAHAY. YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND. MALAPIT NA KONG MAGPOST NG NANLILIMAHID KONG KATAWAN. ABANGAN ANG MGA SUSUNOD NA POSTS. WAHAHAHA!
ETO, NAMNAMIN MO…POWERHUGZ!

Posted by ssdd at March 3, 2009, 2:50 am

@flamindevil: ala ngang bayad eh. ginamit lang nila ko. huhuhuhu. eh bat naman kasi magpapakaputa ka na nga lang, sa local pa. dapat ung mga abroad ang client, di ba? ahihihi. teka, siguro ikaw yung sinigawan ko minsan kasi katanga ng puta. wahahaha. peace man!

Posted by ssdd at March 3, 2009, 2:51 am

@basti: anong mga terms? sana wag puro mura ang natututunan ko sa pagkaligaw mo ng landas dito. magiging BI ako sa’yo, pag nagkataon. hehehe.
maski hindi ko alam para san ang salamat mo, walang anuman na lang parekoi! aydol!

Posted by ssdd at March 3, 2009, 7:05 am

Wahaha. Lakas lang ng trip ng mga taong magbalandra ng mukha’t katawan nila. Tiyak kikita na naman niyan ang globe. Nakow.

Posted by Samjuan at March 3, 2009, 8:10 am

if i know naubos mo na ang bandwidth ng globe dahil sa libo libo mong pictures dun….mahiyain pala ha..ahahaha…

alam ko ang sagot sa bakawan at bakla…ahahahahaha…..

pareho silang nagsisimula sa B…

singtunog ng bayawak…

at mukhang bayawak at bading..ahaha.peace people..jokeness lang.

bigay mo nalang sakin ang nakuha mo sa globe…kakapagod mag sign up eh.

Posted by Maldito at March 3, 2009, 1:32 pm

SUS, KAPAG NAGMOMENTS KAMI NG BIEP KO EH WALA NANG PIKTYUR PIKTYUR EPEK NA EPAL ANOH, DERETSO SA AKSYON UNG AMIN…KAYA HINDI KO SIYA PWEDENG IREMINISCE…PANO YAN, PAPA LIO, HINDI AKO SATISFIED SA PAGPOPROMO MO NITONG PIX LINK..DAPAT KASI EH YUNG SARILI MONG PIKTYUR ANG IBABALANDRA DITO EH…PARANG HINDI NA AKO MAKAPAGHINTAY???BASTA BA YUNG SUPER GWAPO AT SUPER MACHO NA PAPA LIO LOCO ANG IPOST MONG PIC HA..UNG MAGLALALAWAY KAMI LAHAT DITO..AHEKS..NAPRESSURE KA NA..WOHOOOO…

Posted by vanvan at March 3, 2009, 6:17 pm

di ka rin talaga bored no? pero nakakaaliw ka. so kahit na mabore ka pa hanggang sa huling buntong-hininga at paglagas ng bol***

Posted by tinay at March 3, 2009, 6:57 pm

@samjuan: ganian talaga taung pinoy. di maxadong konsyus kapagka balandrahan na ng muka ang pinag-uusapan. hehehe. malamang sa malamang.
p.s. inadd na kita sa blogroll ko kabayan. you’ve been tagged by the narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard! lolz!

Posted by ssdd at March 4, 2009, 2:22 am

@maldito: gago, ala pa nga akong pixlink account no. inaantay ko pa ung bonggang bonggang cam phone na pinasaring ko. wahehehe.
pwede…hehehe.
eto, saluhin mo. kaboom! nyahahaha!

Posted by ssdd at March 4, 2009, 2:23 am

@vanvan: AH GANUN BA? SO SCANDAL NA LANG ANG SUMA TUTAL NG LAHAT? WAHEHEHE. JOKENESS. PACENXA. TAGLIBOG NGAYON. AHEHEHE.
HINDI KA SATISFIED? TSK TSK. ANO PA BANG KELANGAN KONG GAWIN PARA MASATISFY KITA? NYAHAHA. ANG BASTOS PAKINGGAN.
SIGE. KAPAG MEJO LUMAKI-LAKI NA ‘TONG MGA MASKELS KO AT MEJO UMEPEK NA PAGWE-WEIGHTS KO, IBABALANDRA KO BUONG KATAWAN KO PARA SA’YO.
HINDI AKO PRESSURED MAXADO. WOOT WOOT!

Posted by ssdd at March 4, 2009, 2:27 am

@tinay: hindi naman maxado, nakita mo naman, pinagdiskitahan ko na mga pagmumuka ng hinayupak. wahehehe. parang kulang ung statement mo…
so kahit mabore pa ko hanggang sa huling buntong-hininga at paglagas ng bolbol…anong kasunod? bitin. :p

Posted by ssdd at March 4, 2009, 2:29 am

di ba matalino ka? so i was expecting na alam mu piunan yun biro lang. wala kang plano man lang sa summer? sana makapag post ka naman tungkol sa nagtambay ka sa isang cliff at nanginig yung itlogggs mo hehe

Posted by tinay at March 4, 2009, 7:19 am

@tinay: hindi ko bibilhin ang pasakalye mo. lolz!
eto pa…
piunan
piunan
piunan
wahehehe. typo na naman. perpeksyunista ako. lolz!
malapit na. pupunta kaming potipot, zambales para magpatan. wehehehe. abangan mo na lang.
hindi pa ko nakakapunta ng sagada. so wala pang instance na nanginig ang betlogs ko. bukod siguro sa pers taym. hakhak!

Posted by ssdd at March 4, 2009, 7:52 am

ay ba’t nandun ako sa taas?

cute ba? *poses*

kewl ang blog na to. i’ll add you to my blogroll. and no, you don’t have to reciprocate.

Posted by deejay at March 4, 2009, 2:33 pm

@deejay: alin dun? un bang nasa gitna ng mga bakawan? ahehehe. jokeness.
kewl ba? ayan. isang certified naligaw ng landas. salamat sa pag-add. sige na. ia-add na rin kita. dahil mabait na kong bata ngayon. hehehe.

Posted by ssdd at March 4, 2009, 6:15 pm

nagladlad ka na rin pala? haha! nakakatawa yung mga pics amputa..nagtatabi ka rin pala ng bakla dito ah! lols!

mukhang hindi ko rin magagamit yang pixlink na yan kahit naka globe ako dahil bulok naman ang cp ko. congrats! pwede ka na ngang product endorser..hehe!

Posted by gasti at March 5, 2009, 11:22 am

huhu hindi ba pumasok ang comment ko dito asar naman oh..

Posted by anakngpating at March 5, 2009, 1:45 pm

@gasti: hehehe. minsan lang. may freebies at free foods naman eh. lolz! nakita ko lang nung pinapasadahan ko yung pixlink. natuwa ako as piktyur, so ayun. sinama ko sa mga mugshots ng pixlink. wahehehe.
bulok ba cp mo? ako nga rin eh. kaya nga may palipad-hangin ako sa kinauukulan. lolz! pwede na ba? pilit lang yan. salamat! lolz!

Posted by ssdd at March 5, 2009, 3:51 pm

@anakngpating: anong comment yan? wala akong kinalaman sa pagkawala ng comment mo parekoi. gawa ka na lang ule. hehehe.

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