Why Bite the Bullet When I Can Slap Your Ass Instead?

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Why Bite the Bullet When I Can Slap Your Ass Instead?

February 10, 2009

Nagugulumihan ako ngayon. Hindi dahil sa puke ng inang customer ko kaninang akala mo kung sinong nyetang galit-galitan ang drama dahil ang kaniyang Internet Explorer daw “keeps on crashing and you guys (read: kami raw na tech support) are behind this I know yadda yadda yadda maddapakingshet!” Kung hindi ka ba naman nuknukan ng bobo ma’am eh maiisip mong wala akong kinalaman sa pag-crash ng lintik na browser mo dahil unang-una, hindi ako diyos na kayang sirain ang IE sa computer mo sa isang iglap lang maski na gustung-gusto kong gawin ‘yon sa mga tulad mong Blondie Boplaks at ikalawa, hindi ako nagreremote access ng computer ng customer sa humigit kumulang isang taong pagpapakaputa ko sa kadahilanang pampataas lang yan ng Average Handling Time ko.

Kaya ma’am, please lang, wag kang epal at hindi pa ko nahihimasmasan sa mga latest developments ng aking pathetic lablayp. Pero dahil epal ka nga at dahil naaalibadbaran ako sa mga tulad mong akala kung sinong diyos na naghahari-harian sa mundong ibabaw ngunit wala naman palang laman ang kukote, pasensiya ka. Magpakabiskwit ka ma’am at magpakabingi sa pagtaas ng timbre ng boses ko habang pinagsasabihan kitang hindi porke nagbabayad ka sa Internet Service Provider na kasalukuyan kong pinagkakaputahan eh kami na ang may responsibilidad sa nyetang IE mo. Ilang ulit ko bang sasabihin sa’yo na ang browser mo (at pupusta ako ng bonggang bongga na hindi mo alam ang ibig sabihin nun, itaga mo man yan sa blondieng pekpek mo) eh sa lecheng computer mo galing at ang computer mo eh hindi galing samin?

Oo, kami ang nagbibigay sa’yo ng Internet connection pero taragis naman ma’am, labas na ang pagpapatiwakal ng IE mo sa responsibilidad namin sa pagka-inutil mo. Eto ang number ng iyong computer manufacturer. Tawagan mo sila. Dun. Dun mo ipangalandakan ang katangahan mo ma’am. Wala ka nang warranty kamo? Eh may common sense ka naman pala ba’t kanina mo pa ipinagduduldulan sakin ang ~~pekpek~~ pagkaboplaks mo? Maglupasay ka man sa kinatatayuan mo ngayon hindi kita matutulungan. Wala akong pakialam sa IE mo dahil di ‘yan galing samin. Period. No erase.

Leche, nasidetrack tuloy ako sa hinayupak na topic ng blog post na ‘to. Back to regular programming. Ayun. Nagugulumihan nga ako. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba o hindi dapat. Makailang beses ko nang inulit sa blog na ‘to ang kredong kapagka ang palay na ang lumapit sa’yo, kelangang bayuhin. Iyan ang prinsipyo ko sa buhay. Napapanahon lalo na ngayo’t tulirung tuliro ang buong mundo sa global recession ekek na gawa rin lang ng puke ng inang mga gahamang negosyante sa Tate. Kelan lang eh may gintong palay na lumapit sakin at hindi ko alam kung kelangan ko ba ‘tong ~~bembangin~~ bayuhin. Hindi pa ganap na palay pero malamang sa malamang, parang ganun na rin ang kahihinatnan nun.

Hayaan niyong ipamalita ko sa inyo na ang narsisistikong may-ari ng walang kwentang kutang ‘to eh nanganganib na mawala sa pagpapakaputa nang wala sa oras. Maaaring mawala sa pagpapakaputa dahil kapag napunta nga ang palay sa mga nanlilimahid kong kamay, hindi na ako makakatanggap ng tawag mula sa mga taenang inhumanoids from outer space. Gusto ko pa sana kayong bitinin pero baka humaba pa lalo ang blog post na ‘to kaya sasabihin ko nang napasama si Lio Loco sa mga agents na nashortlist for Communications Coach sa aming kuta sa Makati. Walastik talaga ‘yong TL kong itago na lang natin sa pangalang Rob Thomas (dahil hawig niya ang sikat na singer bagaman at ~~babae~~ ~~lalake~~ ~~babae~~ sige na nga, lalakeng nagkatawang babae siya para di magalet. Lolz!) dahil maski na sinabi ko na ngang di ako interesado eh isinubmit pa rin ang pangalan ko.

Hindi ba dapat maglupasay ako sa tuwa dahil isa itong magandang balita, tulad ng mga paawa pipol sa Wowowee na binibigyan ng dolyares ng mga balikbayang gustong makita ang hinayupak na pagmumuka sa TV? (Ano bang meron kapag nakita mo ang hinayupak na muka mo sa TV? Wala naman di ba; panget ka pa rin at kelanman eh hindi magbabago ang katotohanang you’re still such a loser yaya!) At bakit ako naguguluhan eh napakasimpleng possible promotion lang naman pala ‘to? Allow me to bare the cold facts (nosebleed fuck-me-Freddy Lio Loco, ikaw ba yan?):

Dahil tapos na ko sa responsibilidad ko sa kapatid ko, nasabi ko na sa sarili kong panahon na para sarili ko naman ang bigyan ko ng pansin. Panahon na para muli kong balikan ang pangarap kong kagyat kong kinalimutan dahil kelangang magpakatatay-tatayan ng mahabang panahon. Sa mga hindi pa nakakaalam, isa akong Accountancy graduate na hanggang ngayon eh hindi pa rin nagrereview para sa CPA Board Exams dahil nga pinasan ko ang dapat sana’y responsibilidad ng taragis kong tatay. Pero ngayong certified ECE na ang utol ko, wala nang rason para hindi ako makapagreview nang maayos sa kursong tinapos ko nung college. Kaya nga itinakda ko na ang pagtigil ko sa pagpapakaputa sa Abril, isang buwan bago ang opisyal na simula ng review classes.

Pero ‘eto ngayon ang puke ng inang palay na nagpapapansin, inaakit ako nang bonggang bongga para manatili ako sa kasalukuyan kong kuta sa pagpapakaputa sa Makati. Kung kelan naman disidido na kong maging good boy ule, magpakalango sa ~~alak at babae~~ Accounting books at puyatan blues eh tsaka naman susulpot si possible promotion. Nak ng teteng talaga! I asked Jessica Zafra regarding this professional dilemma and here’s her two-cents’ worth regarding the matter (nosebleed Lio Loco napadaan):

If you are good, the dilemma will always be there. And the opportunity cost of taking time out to do your CPA will simply rise as you progress in your career. Bite the bullet early.

Bite the bullet early daw. Kung hindi mo naiintindihan ang ibig sabihin niyan at kung hindi mo pala kilala si Jessica Zafra, hindi tayo bati. Dahil hindi tayo magka-wavelength. Ah kilala mo siya? At marunong kang mag-decipher ng figure of speech? Okey payn. Bati na ule tayo.

Ang sabi ng Twisted Queen of Sarcasm, iwanan ko na raw ang pagpapakaputa at magreview na lang once and for all. Dahil sa teleserye ng totoong buhay, lalo na kung talagang magaling ka (*ahem*), hindi mo maiiwasan ang pagkakasubo sa ~~pototoy ko~~ dalawang magkasalungat na bagay. Laging nakaamba ang pagpili, ang pagdedesisyon kung alin sa dalawa ang pinakamainam para sa’yo. There is always a risk involved. At sa sarili niyang pananaw, mas mainam para sakin ang magreview na lang para maging CPA - Certified Pekpek Arouser. Jokeness. Hehe.

Pero naman. Nakakatempt din kasi ang sahod ng Comms Coach promotion. Teka, nasabi ko na ba sa inyo na ang kasalukuyang kuta ko sa pagpapakaputa eh ang pinakamalaking tagabayad ng serbis sa mga kolboys at kolgels dito sa Makati? Hindi ako nagbibiro. Itaga niyo ule yan sa ~~pekpek niyo~~ bato. Tanungin niyo na lang si Kuting na laging umaali-aligid sa dead-good dampang ‘to at di ko alam eh kasama ko palang nagpapakaputa sa parehong kuta namin sa Makati. Hakhak! Moreover (naks! may nalalaman pa talaga ‘kong moreover moreover), sa pagkakaalam ko, hindi gaanong toxic ang trabaho pag nagkataon at maaari kong pagsabayin ang trabaho sa pagrereview. Maaari being the operative word. Hindi ka magkokols kundi magti-train lang ng panibagong salinlahi ng mga puta ng Makati. Ngayon naiintindihan ko na ang sinasabi nilang ang pagpapakaputa ang pinakamatandang propesyon sa makamundong balat ng lupa. Lolz!

So ano na? What is my final answer? Wag niyo kong madaliin dahil ayokong malublob sa isang nag-uumapaw na sabaw ng ebak tulad ng batang bida sa Slumdog Millionaire. (Obyus bang nagpa-plug ako ng pelikula? Panoorin niyo yan; pramis, di ka magsisisi. Hagalpak ka pa sa tawa.) Hindi ko rin alam sa ngayon. Tulad nga ng sinabi ko, masyado pang maaga para sabihin kung mapupunta nga sakin ang hinayupak na palay na magpapagulo pa lalo sa magulo ko nang pag-iisip.

Kayo, kung sakaling kayo ang nasa kalagayan ko ngayon, alin ang pipiliin niyo: putang may pera o future CPA na kasalukuyang butas ang bulsa?

Posted by ssdd at 8:50 pm | permalink

Previous Comments

naknantutcha parekoy..tagalog blog to!tagalog!kakaiba.mukhang galit na galit ka nga at hindi mo mapigilan dahil sa kabobohan ng kliyente mo.sabi nga namin dito sa call center namin ‘i could not imagine what you are going thru right now,sir.’

just my two cents worth parekoy,look at the bigger picture.does answering calls make your heart beat faster?or does dealing with numbers make you more excited?kung ano ang sagot mo dun,yun na yun.gets mo naman di ba?pareho tayo ng wavelength.pareho pa tayong pogi.haha.yun na.walang kokontra!ayun. :p

Posted by flamindevil at February 11, 2009, 11:13 am

wow..CPA ahhh
taena..Certified Pekpek Arouser..lols

ganto yan pareko (parang bihasa eh)
ikaw kung anu talaga ang maspriority mo..pera o career?

sabagay, matatalinaw na tulad mo eh hindi nman nawawalan ng puwang sa Makati.. pero Kpag naGing CPA ka, pera pa rin nman ang hahanapin mo di ba?

kung ako ikaw, grab the chance..
kung di ka mapromote eh di sign talaga yun na kailangan mo ng tumigil sa pagpuputa at lipat ka nman sa ibang banda ng linya sa kalsada kung saan ka bumibyahe..
ganun lang siguro yun!
i-consider mo yung mga bagay na binibigyan mo ng halaga at kung saan ka masaya..hehehe

sa mundong ito hindi lang pagiging pekpek arouser ang nagpapasaya.. at tagain mo si potoytoy mo kung sakaling mali ang sinabi ko..hehehe

peace

Posted by koSA.Pogi at February 11, 2009, 11:15 am

congrats sa kapatid mo! certified ECE din ako pero diko rin ginamit hehehe!

sayang din ang 1k na dagdag na sweldo pag licensed ka na… grab mo pero dapat sa accounting firm ka mag wowork sa singapore mataas bigayan ng sweldo sa mga gaya mong accountant pero dapat madami ng experience o hasa na sa trabahong iyun,, yung kakilala ko 250k per month sweldo nun kada buwan..

Posted by mangbadoy at February 11, 2009, 1:51 pm

For me…whoa…may alam pa akong FOr me for me..indi lang ikaw ang marunong mag english..ahahha…dahil recession ngayun at hirap kumita ng pera as well as ng work..magpapakaputa na muna ako..

kung Okey na ang recession at economic dun nalang ako magpupursue ng CPA dahil wala namang kwenta kung makakapasa ka ngayung year..besides unlimite ang exam..walang expiration date..mag tipid ka muna ng pera pa sa pang gastos mo sa review at sa mga buwan na wala kang work..

go for the promotion…malay mo…you will never know..ahehhe..

puta..inaply ko na naman ang pagiging psychologist ko dito…hay..putah u!

Posted by Maldito at February 11, 2009, 2:30 pm

@flamindevil: hehehe. ayun. akshuli, nagsimula ako sa nosebleed english. check mo mga early blog posts ko, mababalinguyngoy ka. pero nung nagpost ako minsan ng isang tagalog post - this guy's in love with you torpe - biglang umapaw ang hits nang bonggang bongga. kaya ayun. nageeksperiment muna kung saan ako mas tatangkilikin. hehehe.
of course answering calls does not make my hear beat faster. it's a given that i've grabbed this call-whoring job for financial stability. the cpa thing? that's my ultimate dream. but given the current circumstances, being a call whore provides me and my family food on the table and affords my whims and fancy, something that i will inevitably lose once i decide to delve into the nocturnal, late-night procrastination that is cpa review. so there you go sago. ain't that a fuckin' dilemma?
totoo. dami talagang bobo sa mundo. at hinuha ko, halos lahat nalaglag sa amerika. lolz!
hindi ko muna alam sa ngayon. basta. bahala na. pero malamang, baka nga susubukan kong pagsabayin. hehehe.
hindi ako gwapo. cute lang ako parekoi. lolz!

Posted by ssdd at February 11, 2009, 3:19 pm

@kosa.Pogi: taena. eh sa certified pekpek arouser nga eh. lolz!
tatagain ko talaga betlogs mo pag mali payo mo. lolz! jokeness. salamat ng marami sa payo. hahaha. oo, pag nagkataon nga, lalakarin ko lang ang cpar review center sa españa.pero tingnan natin kung ano ang kahihinatnan nito. sa ngayon, steady muna ko. no bounce, no play…and also with you. hehehe.

Posted by ssdd at February 11, 2009, 3:20 pm

@maldito: taragis! sinasabi ko na nga ba. kwentong barbero ung pagiging engr graduate mo. lolz! isa ka palang mind reader ha. okey payn. i will consider your two-cents,-worthless…este, worth pala. hehehe. salamat ng marami sa advice parekoi. hmmm…muka ngang tama na wag ko munang bitawan ang pagpapakaputa ko kasi pahirapan ang pakikipagpatintero sa mga kumpanya ngayon. pero tulad kay kosa.Pogi na hindi nahiyang dagdagan ng pogi ang alias, pag-iisipan kong maige kung san ako dpat mapunta.

Posted by ssdd at February 11, 2009, 3:22 pm

kadalasan kapag tinatanong ako kung bakit hindi ko ipinagpatuloy ang CPA career ko, ang madalas kung sagot ay

“hindi naman nadadala sa langit ang titulong CPA diba” at hindi naman lahat ng taong umasenso at yumaman ay cpa tulad din lamang na di lahat ng cpa ay umasenso at yumaman..

pero dahil masyado kung feel na gusto mo iyang cpa..cge go!..

pro dahil namn nagugulumihan ka baka nga mas gusto mong mag paka puta talaga..

ay ewan, lio..

basta kung saan ka masaya eh di susuportahan kita..

nga pala..tag kita..alam kung di ugali ng narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard ang sumugal sa mga tags..pero nagbabakasali lang namn..

please..lolz

Posted by vanvan at February 11, 2009, 8:51 pm

@mangbadoy: ayun. ece din pala kayo mang badoy. taena. pahirapan nga maghanap ng work ngaun. ung utol ko, licensed na nga, tatlong buwan pa ring nakatengga. xa ang pinaka-factor kung talagang magpapatuloi ako sa pagpapakaputa o mag-ccpa review na. hangga’t hindi pa xa stable at nakakahanap ng trabaho, sige pa rin ako sa pagpapakaputa rito sa makati.
huwaaaw! 250k? maddapakingshet! i’ve changed my mind. mag-ccpa na ko. lolz! jokeness. basta. easy lang muna. tingnan natin kung anong mangyayari sa mga susunod na araw.

Posted by ssdd at February 12, 2009, 5:17 am

@vanvan: dalawa na kayo ni mang badoy na gustong itigil ko na ang pagpapakaputa ko rito sa makati. ung ibang mga siraulo rito, gustong ituloi ang ligaya. pakaputa pa rin daw ako. lolz! salamat sa suporta. again and again, di ko pa sure anong next step ko. basta ang alam ko, tuloi pa rin ang pagpapakagago ko sa pook-sapot na to. hehehe.
tag na naman? lolz! may utang pa nga ko kay maldito tungkol sa tag tag na iyan. pero sige. nakapila ka na rin. antayin mo na lang ang malufeeet na 25 fucks…este…facts about the narcissistic, angst-ridden bastard that is lio loco.

Posted by ssdd at February 12, 2009, 5:22 am

ha ha ha..hoy gago! sang comment ako indi nag reply? chat box ba to?wahahahhaa..iwan..nakakaloko ang site mo..,insan ang mga comments indi mo alam kung approve o indi..ahahah..tae mo!

Posted by Maldito at February 12, 2009, 12:43 pm

Parekoy salamat sa pagdalaw, mukha ngang may pagkaparehas tayo ng situation ah, buti nalang di nako agent ngayon, last year nag struggle ako di lang dahil sa mga lecheng bobong tumatawag, kundi pati na ren sa leche kong bagong lipat ng account na tl na kala mo yabang alam na ang lahat, buti nalang nkawala nako sa kanila at 4 hours a week nlng ang tanggap ko ng tawag ahaha. di bale maggiging maayos din ang lahat pag naabot na natin ang mga dapat abutin, sa ngayon, eto lang ang trabahong mron ako na sapat ang sahod para makapagaral ang mrs ko at buhayin ang anak ko.

Nga pala ^^ Dun ako sa future CPA, kz future CPA ang misis ko… ahahaha

Posted by Basti at February 12, 2009, 12:51 pm

@maldito: hoy kupal! nagbabasa ka ba? sa comment ko sa nakraang blog post mo. hindi sa comment mo sa blog post ko. intiendes? at hindi to chat box. wala akong chatbox at wala akong balak maglagay ng chatbox sa hinayupak na kutang to. allergic ako sa tao sabi.
inaapprove ko kaya. kaw lang talaga ang may diperenxa kaya natutuliro ka. malutong na bwahahaha! tae mo rin!

Posted by ssdd at February 12, 2009, 5:26 pm

@basti: no problemo parekoi. natuwa ako sa nabasa ko lalo na nung nalaman kong young daddy ka pala. ako, sa binatak kong responsibilidad, daig ko pa ang full-time tatay. lolz!
at nagpakaputa ka rin pala. hanggang ngayon ba? bat 4hours lang? inhouse kolboy ka ba ngaun?
tama yan. pasasaan bat makakamit din natin ang rurok ng tagumpay! kampay kampay!
natutuwa ako sa pagsusumikap mong mabigyan ng magandang buhay ang misis at anak mo. ganian din ako sa mommy at utol ko. dami nga nating similarities. hehehe.
ayun. tatlo na kayong gusto akong maging cpa. bukod senio, lahat na lang ng gagong nadadapa rito eh gusto akong magpakaputa. lolz!
future cpa rin pala misis mo. goodluck sa kania! goodluck sau! goodluck satin!

Posted by ssdd at February 12, 2009, 5:33 pm

haha, galet ka na naman.. *relax*

Posted by jeniffer at February 12, 2009, 5:48 pm

@jennifer: eh pano naman kasi. nung naisabog ang kabobohan sa sangkatauhan, nasalo ata lahat ng mga nilalang sa kontinenteng malapit sa atlantic ocean. mga bubolic nation talaga o. maddapakingshet!

Posted by ssdd at February 12, 2009, 5:55 pm

oo parekoi nagpakaputa na rin ako pangalawang casa ko na to.. at mejo kakatapos ko lang ng level up ko kaya mula sa pagiging ahente eh umasenso na ng konti, ibang dept na pero required kasi 4 hrs a week tanggap pa din tawag. ewan ko nga ba, kung ikaw malupit sa english, ako halos di ipasa ng teacher ko dati, kaya napaka ironic na ang pagpuputa pala ang bubuhat samin. oo future CPA ang mrs ko, magggraduate na sabay kami ngayon march.
Buti naman at nkayanan mo ang responsibilities bro… saludo din ako sayo. God Bless!

Posted by Basti at February 13, 2009, 5:38 am

musta naman mr. cpa to be…Ü gora na sa pagi2ng comm coach..Ü filing q naman kaya mong pagsabayin yung pag re review mo at pagpapakaputa mo eh…Ü lam mo yan, sayang ang oppurtunity… balak q nga din mag aral ulet, bet q mag masteral.Ü wala lang, para swit lang..Ü kung ndi lang din talaga malaki ang sweldo dito sa kumpanya natin matagal na din aqng umalis dito.. sabi nga ng sexbomb “kung ano ang nasa puso mo, sundin mo…” kaya pag icipan mo 2 ng bonggang bongga…Ü

Posted by kuting at February 13, 2009, 7:15 am

@kuting: ok lang naman miss meowie taylor…:) tingin mo nga kaya ko talga pagsabayin? ewan. madugo rin kasi ang pagrereview. para sakin kasi, ang cpa board ang pnakamahirap na board exam sa lahat ng mga board exams. talo pa ang law at medicine. hahaha! at isa pa, hindi pa naman sure kung mapapasaakin ang comms coach position. nashortlist lang. hehehe.
totoo. kung hindi talga malaki ang sahod natin, hindi na ko magtiya-tiyagang magpakaputa sa kasalukuyang putahan natin. lolz!
salamat ng marami sa payo. pag-iisipan ko talaga to ng bonggang bongga.

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